I get frustrated and angry very easily. It is something that I am working on. I don’t like to get frustrated or angry at my children, husband, or with others around me. When that happens I forget to think before I speak and I know I have said or will say something that is potentially very hurtful.
I am by no means a perfect mother. I get annoyed then frustrated then angry with my children on a daily basis. I continue to pray (and have always prayed) that God will give me patience. Getting frustrated then angry runs in my family. I have always been the one that wanted to break this cycle. I feel I am failing. Patience is a virtue and I will continue to work towards it and with the help and discipline from God I know one day I will get there. I have come so far already. I have learned to hold my tongue and fidget with my foot or fingers when I start to feel frustrated and annoyed. If I get annoyed with other drivers out on the road I sing the songs louder and remind myself that I don’t have to be on time to an appointment. I just have to arrive safely. But many areas are still a work in progress.
I have found this blog to help with my frustrations. This way I can get out all of the anger I have pent up. I read and re-read what I wrote and realized I was getting frustrated over something stupid.
I look at my children and realize that they are learning and I have to teach them with my actions and my words. I have seen that my almost 4 year old imitated everything I say and do. I don’t want him imitating my frustrations or anger. I also don’t want my children growing up to think that they always had an angry mommy. I am not angry, I love my children, and I do the best that I can for them.
So, for now I will continue to learn right along with my children about patience and how to be a person who is slow to anger. I pray my children learn it much faster than I do and teach me how it all works.